dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
