For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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