she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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