would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
