for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
