Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
