His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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