I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
