Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
