Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
