he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
