Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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