At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
