Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
