sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
