I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize