someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
