.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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