Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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