Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
