have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
