I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
