i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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