so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
