You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
