the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
