he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
