We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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