There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
