Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
