All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
