FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
