Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am naked and annoyed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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