the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I love having hate sex.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
