You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Only a mothe r could love this liver
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
