yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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