Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
