Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize