Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
