Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
