Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
