everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
