You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
