So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
