I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize