dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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