3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
