I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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