Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
