So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You've changed since you got that strap on
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
