Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
