Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
