is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
