New invention idea: vibrating tampons
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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