No subtext here. People are naked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
