That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
