Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
